As any new parent would attest, most of us are running on a very low level of energy during the day. I felt this more acutely, when the baby was going through a growth spurt and waking up every 2 hours during the night. I had also just started going back to work. While I wanted to be excited and grateful to go back to work, I was also low on sleep and low on energy.

However, it’s not just new parents who go through these times. It’s most of us. We all have periods in our life during which we feel depleted even though we experience a desire to be our best. This could be because of ongoing health conditions, family drama, or work conflicts. Or maybe something else entirely. 

How do we get out of this rut?

No, I don’t have a magical solution. And a lot of what will follow in this post is trial and error. Sometimes you have to try every solution in the book to get yourself out of the rut. Here is what we did. 

The problem: Waking up tired. Going through the day in a rush. Experiencing a stiff and achy body. Coming back home with a headache. Dreading another night of poor quality sleep. 

Solutions.

Sleep

Most of the last month and a half was dedicated towards understanding sleep. Both ours and that of our daughters. We already knew the mental health benefits of getting better sleep. For our daughter, getting 9-12 hours of sleep helps in her growth and development. It is as critical as food. 

And so we invested time and resources in understanding the different methods of sleep training and tried a few until we found a solution that worked for us all. At the same time, I completed a masterclass on Mathew Walker’s concepts of sleep. There is so much to gain from his lifetime of knowledge on sleep, but the foundations are simple. We need 7-9 hours of nighttime sleep as adults. There should be no compromises. Sleeping for 15-20 minutes during the day can be considered refreshing. Anything longer than that tends to rob us off of our sleep drives for the night. 

I see plenty of patients with advancing dementia and Alzhiemer’s during my clinical dentistry days. Lack of sleep and chronic stress throughout a working career can accelerate one’s advance towards these cognitive disabilities. This fact alone further motivated me about taking sleep seriously.

How do you know if you’ve had enough sleep? When you wake up naturally (without alarms) in the morning and feel well rested. You don’t feel rushed. And you feel excited to begin your day. For me that is 7.5 hours. Sleep helps in improving mental health, problem solving and critical decision making. Do not compromise on your sleep!

Books

During my maternity leave, I had barely enough time to sit alone in one place to collect my thoughts, let alone read a book. As soon as I made the decision to introduce 10 pages of reading daily at night, I instantly started feeling better and more positive. Reading at night also helps me sleep better. Instead of spending the time on my phone reading emails, I was switching off the phone and reading pages, helping my mind feel calmer. 

Podcasts 

A double edged sword in my job are the long hours I spend commuting from one patient’s home to the other. It’s double edged because it has its pros and cons. The pros I’d like to mention is the time I get to immerse myself in music and/or learning via podcasts or masterclass. Our new favorite is Acquired. A podcast that tells the birth stories of the world’s greatest companies. What I sometimes find more inspiring than the stories is actually the podcasters themselves. One is from Seattle and the other from Silicon valley. Both are young parents and often talk about what they did that day with their babies. 

This inspires me. If they can host an award winning podcast while being new parents and navigating the challenges of raising a baby, then who am I to find excuses?

Yoga

Nighttime yoga or yoga nidra has been a game changer for me. Just 15 mins on any youtube video (my favorite is aham yoga), helps your body stretch, relax and get you ready for sleep. Just try it. You won’t look back!

Energy 

I think this may be the most important thing. Finding things and people who are of a similar or higher energy level than I am has been most critical. Not all the people we interact with are of a higher energy level. In fact, some of them may just suck the energy off you. Are you finding people in your life like that? This could easily be what is holding you back. 

I’ve found that speaking to people who make me feel positive and happy, makes my mind more active, and my day brighter. There have been times in the past year that I’ve had to interact with people who are just the opposite. What can you do if these conversations and interactions are unavoidable?

If it is someone you work with, and you have a say in their employment, make your thoughts on this person known to your management. Chances are, that if it’s affecting you, it is affecting others and possibly your clients too. 

If it is someone in your family, it gets more tricky. Try to keep conversations short, learn not to take things personally, and build a mental wall around yourself. 

The greatest thing we can do for our minds is to learn how to protect its energy. Our energy is like water in a cup. If the cup has a few little holes, water will flow out but slowly. If the cup has large holes, water will flow out faster and disappear completely. When we talk to people who have low energy, focus on building the wall around our water, without hurting the person speaking to us. Remember that whoever they may be, they are people too and they are the way they are because of the circumstances they were raised in. That does not make them bad people. At the same time, we are not obligated to spend time with people who make us feel poorly. But, most important of all, we should not let anyone deplete our own energy. 

So build that wall! (Not a political pun).