Having a baby was the best decision we took as a family. Not only has she filled our lives with much joy and tranquility, she unexpectedly led us to become more intentional and productive at work. Let me explain how.
Time blocks
Although I have always tried to divide my time into blocks of work and play, I’d never been successful at it. I wouldn’t be able to find time to work on personal projects on a weekday. I’d be numbing work-related fatigue with TV or social media.
With a baby, there’s no other option. As a rule, when A is awake, we are away from screens (unless FaceTiming with the grandparents). Instead we read books, take long walks, sing and play as a family. Every weekday from 7-8 AM and 5-8 PM is focus time as a family. There’s no way I could try to (even if I wanted to) work on something, or read a book, while she is awake. She demands a lot of attention! And therefore, when she’s napping or asleep for the night, it becomes time for me to focus on other things.
Since there is that time limitation, I end up only doing the stuff that is actually important and leave the rest. It is the easiest way to prioritize.
Do what you love
I recently heard Paul Graham’s essay on the above, and it made total sense to me as a parent as well. If I didn’t love working it would be hard for me to justify time away from A.
Motherhood has also helped me find more appreciation in dentistry as a career. So few careers enable this level of flexibility. There aren’t many in the workforce who could work just 2-3 days a week and find financial security. Many other mom’s have commented on how envious they are of this lifestyle!
However, outside of the lifestyle and financial stability, if the work we do is not enjoyable, it will start to feel like a drag. When I go home, A’s little face lights up. It makes my heart swell and realize what I am leaving behind daily. Time with her is precious as she will be this little only once. So if it was not for the high level of satisfaction I was receiving from work, I would have quit a long time ago and become a stay-at-home mom.
Saying no to things
A bit of a people pleaser, I’ve often found myself saying yes to many opportunities that come my way. It is always hard to turn requests down, especially when they come from well meaning mentors. However, because time with A is so limited, and her childhood will be fleeting, I sometimes surprise myself at how easy it has become for me to say, ‘let me think about it and get back to you.’
If nothing else, thinking through things helps us better weigh its pros and cons. Sometimes, we may still say yes, but at least it is not out of obligation or peer pressure. There are a few activities, I am finding harder and harder to justify being a part of. It is too soon for me to talk about it here but I will when it’s time. 2025 is going to be an important year for my career. And there may be some decisions I will need to take regarding other activities I am involved with, in order to keep my focus and attention on the things I love.
How to give A the best life possible
I find myself even more motivated, excited and productive than before. Being a new mom has also filled my mind with lots of positivity, an essential skill for any founder. I see opportunities everywhere and problems in the community that need creative solutions. Why?
The reason for this all, is my daughter. I have started seeing the world through her curious eyes. Everything and every person is interesting to her. She has helped me notice trees, flowers and houses in our neighborhood that I never did. Similarly, I’ve noticed things about my patients, profession and community that had previously escaped my notice.
I am also always figuring out ways of doing more with my time. How can I maximize my professional impact? Should I work more days, scale my practice, or add more skills, in what little time I spend working? These are questions I will quietly ponder with my daughter while we stroll through our neighborhood every day. While I have plenty of my own professional ambitions, I also want for our daughter to be proud of her mom. I want for her to be able to happily share with her friends one day what her parents do and ‘how awesome’ it is. And it goes without saying, we also want to provide the best possible life for her. A life full of love, empathy, friendship and good health.
Education
I turned off my social media a few months into motherhood. After a few months away, I realized how little I miss it in its absence. A lack of social media, turned my attention towards a few different podcasts and books. This has been a welcome change in my life and has made my long drives to work more palatable.
Connection
Being a parent has helped me connect with my patients, who are parents and grandparents themselves, better. It has helped me build empathy with my teams, who leave their kids at daycare or with nannies, in order to make a living. Kids are the easiest conversation starter.
Life with a baby is happy chaos. I’m grateful for this time and space in my life, and for our little bundle of joy, who never ceases to amaze me.